College Cleaning

Well it is just after 1 AM and my roommate is out so I took the opportunity to pull myself away from my Xbox to do some cleaning. Main areas of cleaning are the Kitchen and Bathroom. 

Kitchen was very easy, put clean dishes away and then fill up dishwasher. Also took the keen opportunity to re wash the dishes my roommate did since he doesn't know how to clean anything, and then put those away too. wipe everything down and call it a day. Here is a picture to prove it:

Moving on to the bathroom. I had cleaned it last weekend so the only real order of business I had was to fix the shower head. Over the last week it had seemed to get really bad water pressure coming out of the shower head, but water pressure was still fine on the spout thing on the bottom. With my amazing Mr. Fix it skills, I derived that the issue was solely in the shower head. 

Easy enough fix. Take the shower head off, find some vinegar oil or whatever it is called and soak it until it works. 

Unscrew the head part from the hose. Here is the hose hanging in the shower:

Now that it's off I go back to my clean kitchen to find the vinegar. No dice.

Problem: It is 1 AM and I have a shower nozzle that is in pieces and since my roommate and I already hate each other I have to find a way to finish this before he gets home. I have no vinegar and I know for a fact that the 7-Eleven and Circle K don't sell it.

Solution: look through all cleaning supplies until I find something that will substitute for a calcium solvent. 

Still standing in the kitchen with have of the shower head dripping all over the place (it surprisingly holds a lot of water) I discover there is nothing of use in the kitchen. move onto the bathroom sink. Open up the doors and with a Aura shinning around it I find this:

Yaaa Buddy!

On the back of the bottle it says for a shower head, soak in a solution of 50/50. I can only assume that means 50 percent CLR and 50 percent water. But who knows. Or cares for that matter.

I go back to the kitchen to find a huge zip lock bag. again No dice. Back to improvising, this is what I come up with:

Oh ya. That is my bathroom sink, with a guesstimated 50/50 solution of CLR and water. So as of currently I am sitting writing this blog, enjoying a well earned drink:

But I'm under 21, so I wouldn't know anything about those types of beverages. I'm just drinking some special water

All in all, 45 min later my roommate still isn't home (YAY!!!) and by the time tomorrow morning rolls around I'm going to have a nice hot shower with some serious water pressure!

College students are forced to improvise and come up with wild out of the box solutions on the spot. I feel that we don't get enough credit for the ingenious solutions we have for everyday problems! 

Food proportions VS Cost

So the new Campus Rec center got this make over and additional gym and such. Much nicer and more spacious. Still overpopulated by dumbfuck frat kids but whatever, thats a different soap box.

Most recently I noticed they have a new restaurant type of thing in there. It is called "Fuel" and they serve things like smoothies and power bars and drinks and have a few options for food. I have only been there twice, both times after fairly strenuous activity so when I happened to stroll on by the Fro Yo thing got my attention. First time I went in, maybe a month ago I ordered a Chocolate & Vanilla Swirl with toppings. It was very good.

Tonight I go back, order the same thing.

Walk up to the counter and some older guy is working, clearly not in college. I assume he must be the owner/manager. He was doing something on his phone when I walked up, but he never put it down. As most of the people who know me, this put me into kill mode. Sorry I have over 6 years of experience in Retail and Sales, please don't make me tell you how to do your job.  Without missing a beat he inputs my order and swipes my card. I'm like "YA! THANKS." It doesn't phase him at all. 

This is what I ordered. 4 dollars and 19 cents. OUTRAGEOUS!

Whatever it is very delicious. 

Please note that this cup is maybe two inches tall and three inches wide.

Paper thin bananas...Bummer. About halfway through this delicious Fro Yo. I was about to take a bite when the person I was with pointed out that one of the bananas was green. I was like, really? Old ass bananas?

So I walk back up to the counter and of course the only two people at the counter are girls. Obviously dumb blonde sorority bitches. I tell one "Ya your bananas are kinds moldy" pointing to the huge blotch of mold on the banana on top. She kind of almost playfully takes it out of my hand and tosses it in the trash behind the counter. WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING she walks over and makes another one then hands it to me. 

Because if the first banana had mold on it, I'm sure the other 100 banana slices wont' have mold on them. It's not like they all sit right next to each other in the counter or anything. Dumb.

This is the second one I got

Size in comparison to some keys

While finishing up this thing, I look over at the counter and they have this beer tap looking thing and a little sign in front of it. While I was to far away to read what it said, the header of the sign was big enough for me to make out "49 cents." Anything on campus that is that cheap I MUST HAVE. 

Walking back up to the counter, there are still only two girls working. Guess I have to make due. Upon further investigation it is a tiny ass cup of water that has some type of bull steroids or some crazy shit stuff in it. They have a few flavors with catchy names like "Ignition" and "Power" and whatever else.  So I order those two flavors. 

They look like normal water. One has a very slight rust colored tint and the other has a blueish hue. 

Well after two big gulps I have a video that depicts me drinking said water:

Yes It did taste much like normal water and I did not feel any form of empowerment from vitamins. 

All in all this little store in the Rec is pretty much a over priced joke. I don't recommend it at all.

Politics on Campus

Allow me to start by saying that this is attempted to be written in the most professional/politically withdrawn form that it could be, BUT that the statements displayed are my own and if you have a problem with them then call your mom and bitch to her that the mean man on the internet said bad things about your beliefs.

Most recently there have been some quite annoying displays of politics on campus (University of Arizona). Of the most recent things there is one that stands out the most to me:

Chain link "Mini" US-Mexico Border Fence


Get back on campus from spring break to find some 6 foot tall chain link fence that is topped with barbed wire. The fence stretches all the way down the mall and there are openings in two or three places where the paved bike path and sidewalks cross. At first this doesn't affect me since I think they are going to lay down new grass or something and I try not to walk on the grass anyway since THATS WHY THERE ARE SIDEWALKS (lets not get me started on that issue).

Monday at lunch time I am on campus doing my thing and notice that there are now little laminated pictures hanging on said fence and there is no new grass. Instantly sparked by curiosity I stroll over to the fence and take a gander at the pictures. My heart sinks when I find out we are now getting new lush green grass, but the fence is there to show how hard it is for Mexicans to get into the US. Now not only am I pissed but also depressed I have to stare at dead grass for another 6 weeks of school. FML.

All along the fence there are pictures and whatnot of "sad" images of people holding hands through the fence and other bullshit like that (yes i'm a cold cold person). Honestly at this point it still has no affect on me, other then having to listen to everyone else bitch and moan about not being able to walk on the grass.

Students from the group that made the fence...Note: he looks like a fagget.

THE problem here is not that I care about the fence and other peoples problems. Lets be honest, There is a border fence there for a reason...to keep Mexicans out. But when I have to see it everyday I start to build the anger inside and that never ends well.

The school is a public place. The school should not have these type of "Protests" that are clearly taking a stance on the issue. The school should be completely removed from any type of opinion with this sort of thing.

Well apparently I wasn't the only one offended. The longer the fence was up, the more vandalism was done. It got to the point where the Fence Company started taking down sections early since people would go out at night and cut holes in the fence so that other students could get through during the day. The funniest thing I saw in the whole occurance was a fake "crucified" body hanging on it. Now I have no idea what kind of statement that made but it was pretty funny to see the fence people get all pissy with it since apparently whoever put it up there made dam sure it was going to be hard to take down.

Best thing about the whole issue (yes this is were I get in a fight) is one day there were students dress up as Fake Customs and Border Patrol Agents. They were out harassing people, If you were white skinned they would let you through and if you were brown skinned they would yell at you to walk around. Thanks to my Polish Complex (ghost white) I was allowed through every time. But that was to easy. I'm Polish, at some point my ancestors had to fight someone to get into or great country.

To make this point I went through the gaps next to these "Border Patrol Agents" a few times:

First time walking through to head over towards the bike rack:
CBP (Customs and Border Patrol) "Sir you are white you may pass"
This being my first time I didn't get it so I put my head down and kept walking. Then I realized what they were doing and the ideas started lining up in my head.

Second Pass:
CBP: "Sir you are white you may pass"
He didn't really side step to let me through so I jumped on the opportunity...
Me: "Impersonating a Federal agent is a felony, so get the fuck out of my way or I will have you arrested!"
He moved very quickly...oddly enough I never saw his face out in the crowd again

Third Pass, with bicycle:
CBP guy kinda had the look on his face like should I try and say my stupid line to him or just get out of his way.
Guess what he choose? Yes he Choose stand there. Yes he was gonna learn very quickly that this was the wrong choice.
Seeing that he wasn't gonna back down I closed the gap and sped up until the last second when the game of chicken, when I jumped off my bike and let it go crashing front wheel to his "Danger Area." In hindsight this was a stupid plan since I no have no easily accessible escape route, but putting the mission first I was gonna ride that airplane into the ground.
CBP #2 came flying over, arms failing trying to help CBP #1 who was now  partially under my bike. I stood there trying to look like I didn't actually just do that on purpose, but CBP #1 knew better. He lost all professionalism as he and robin (CBP #2) took the third huge steps to yell at me face to face. This would be twice now that CBP #1 has made the wrong choice today. I let him yell and act all tough, to be honest I really couldn't remember what profanity he even yelled in my face I just remember him spitting a lot and making me more angry. Much like the true champion I am, my lack of all concern pissed him off even more and just brought him one step closer to me as he screamed at me. After standing there looking retarded for about a minute he stopped yelling, with this confused look on his face. He must have been thinking I was deaf or something since I wasn't even flinching when he yelled.

Me: "You must be a horrible CBP Agent if you didn't even see me coming at you in broad daylight, no wonder no Americans can find jobs because you suck serious ass at your job."
While saying this I side stepped Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb to pick up my bike and pretend to inspect it. They followed and kept yelling at me. I still wasn't listening. Throughout the inspection of my bike I had previously loosed a screw on the water bottle holder thing for this exact reason.

I turn look at CBP #1 and say: "This thing is loose (pointing to water bottle thing) now because you made me crash my bike, I'm going to charge you for that"
CBP #1 "I didn't break that you hit me."
How did I know he was going to say that? Because he was standing there in a fake CBP outfit and didn't hop up and say OMG I'm sorry are you OK? after I crashed it into him.
Instantly I reach for my back pocket and grab my knife. The special knife that it is, it will open up all 6.25 inches (not including serration) of blade when I yank it out of my pocket.

CBP #1 now realizes I am a lunatic and just pulled a weapon out of seemingly nowhere.

Me: "Oh really you didn't break it? Well if I can't fix it now, I will walk YOU over to Campus Police, you know the people with REAL guns, and explain to them how you broke my bike and make sure you pay to have it fixed."
Luckily it was a Philips screw that my knew could easily tighten, so I did.
At this point CBP #1 AND #2 are whiter then I am (very white). So I flip the knife closed, hook it back into my pocket and hop on my newly fixed bike.

As parting words I look over at them, they had taken a few steps back, and say the first thing that came to my head...
"Next time, get the fuck out of my way, OK?"
Probably put me into a whole new level of psychopath since I had a completely serious/ready to kill face, then I smiled when I said OK.

Either way there are a few morals to this story and things to be learned:
1.) It is a public campus, yes it is a great place to spread the word or whatever, but the campus need to dictate how people do this. Said fence should have never been put there.
2.) United States Code: 18912 Impersonating a Federal Agent...thats 3 years in a "Pound me in the Ass Prison"
3.) Some people have no head on their shoulders what-so-ever, people like this should not allowed to dress up like CBP Agents and do this.
3.) I am not a nice person and when you do stupid shit like the above mentioned, I will make sure you do not have a good day.


Here are some links to the Media Coverage about said fence:
Arizona Daily Star

U of A Campus Newspaper: The Daily Wildcat

Fox 11 Arizona