Most recently there have been some quite annoying displays of politics on campus (University of Arizona). Of the most recent things there is one that stands out the most to me:
Chain link "Mini" US-Mexico Border Fence
Get back on campus from spring break to find some 6 foot tall chain link fence that is topped with barbed wire. The fence stretches all the way down the mall and there are openings in two or three places where the paved bike path and sidewalks cross. At first this doesn't affect me since I think they are going to lay down new grass or something and I try not to walk on the grass anyway since THATS WHY THERE ARE SIDEWALKS (lets not get me started on that issue).
Monday at lunch time I am on campus doing my thing and notice that there are now little laminated pictures hanging on said fence and there is no new grass. Instantly sparked by curiosity I stroll over to the fence and take a gander at the pictures. My heart sinks when I find out we are now getting new lush green grass, but the fence is there to show how hard it is for Mexicans to get into the US. Now not only am I pissed but also depressed I have to stare at dead grass for another 6 weeks of school. FML.
All along the fence there are pictures and whatnot of "sad" images of people holding hands through the fence and other bullshit like that (yes i'm a cold cold person). Honestly at this point it still has no affect on me, other then having to listen to everyone else bitch and moan about not being able to walk on the grass.
 |
| Students from the group that made the fence...Note: he looks like a fagget. |
THE problem here is not that I care about the fence and other peoples problems. Lets be honest, There is a border fence there for a reason...to keep Mexicans out. But when I have to see it everyday I start to build the anger inside and that never ends well.
The school is a public place. The school should not have these type of "Protests" that are clearly taking a stance on the issue. The school should be completely removed from any type of opinion with this sort of thing.
Well apparently I wasn't the only one offended. The longer the fence was up, the more vandalism was done. It got to the point where the Fence Company started taking down sections early since people would go out at night and cut holes in the fence so that other students could get through during the day. The funniest thing I saw in the whole occurance was a fake "crucified" body hanging on it. Now I have no idea what kind of statement that made but it was pretty funny to see the fence people get all pissy with it since apparently whoever put it up there made dam sure it was going to be hard to take down.
Best thing about the whole issue (yes this is were I get in a fight) is one day there were students dress up as Fake Customs and Border Patrol Agents. They were out harassing people, If you were white skinned they would let you through and if you were brown skinned they would yell at you to walk around. Thanks to my Polish Complex (ghost white) I was allowed through every time. But that was to easy. I'm Polish, at some point my ancestors had to fight someone to get into or great country.
To make this point I went through the gaps next to these "Border Patrol Agents" a few times:
First time walking through to head over towards the bike rack:
CBP (Customs and Border Patrol) "Sir you are white you may pass"
This being my first time I didn't get it so I put my head down and kept walking. Then I realized what they were doing and the ideas started lining up in my head.
Second Pass:
CBP: "Sir you are white you may pass"
He didn't really side step to let me through so I jumped on the opportunity...
Me: "Impersonating a Federal agent is a felony, so get the fuck out of my way or I will have you arrested!"
He moved very quickly...oddly enough I never saw his face out in the crowd again
Third Pass, with bicycle:
CBP guy kinda had the look on his face like should I try and say my stupid line to him or just get out of his way.
Guess what he choose? Yes he Choose stand there. Yes he was gonna learn very quickly that this was the wrong choice.
Seeing that he wasn't gonna back down I closed the gap and sped up until the last second when the game of chicken, when I jumped off my bike and let it go crashing front wheel to his "Danger Area." In hindsight this was a stupid plan since I no have no easily accessible escape route, but putting the mission first I was gonna ride that airplane into the ground.
CBP #2 came flying over, arms failing trying to help CBP #1 who was now partially under my bike. I stood there trying to look like I didn't actually just do that on purpose, but CBP #1 knew better. He lost all professionalism as he and robin (CBP #2) took the third huge steps to yell at me face to face. This would be twice now that CBP #1 has made the wrong choice today. I let him yell and act all tough, to be honest I really couldn't remember what profanity he even yelled in my face I just remember him spitting a lot and making me more angry. Much like the true champion I am, my lack of all concern pissed him off even more and just brought him one step closer to me as he screamed at me. After standing there looking retarded for about a minute he stopped yelling, with this confused look on his face. He must have been thinking I was deaf or something since I wasn't even flinching when he yelled.
Me: "You must be a horrible CBP Agent if you didn't even see me coming at you in broad daylight, no wonder no Americans can find jobs because you suck serious ass at your job."
While saying this I side stepped Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb to pick up my bike and pretend to inspect it. They followed and kept yelling at me. I still wasn't listening. Throughout the inspection of my bike I had previously loosed a screw on the water bottle holder thing for this exact reason.
I turn look at CBP #1 and say: "This thing is loose (pointing to water bottle thing) now because you made me crash my bike, I'm going to charge you for that"
CBP #1 "I didn't break that you hit me."
How did I know he was going to say that? Because he was standing there in a fake CBP outfit and didn't hop up and say OMG I'm sorry are you OK? after I crashed it into him.
Instantly I reach for my back pocket and grab my knife. The special knife that it is, it will open up all 6.25 inches (not including serration) of blade when I yank it out of my pocket.
CBP #1 now realizes I am a lunatic and just pulled a weapon out of seemingly nowhere.
Me: "Oh really you didn't break it? Well if I can't fix it now, I will walk YOU over to Campus Police, you know the people with REAL guns, and explain to them how you broke my bike and make sure you pay to have it fixed."
Luckily it was a Philips screw that my knew could easily tighten, so I did.
At this point CBP #1 AND #2 are whiter then I am (very white). So I flip the knife closed, hook it back into my pocket and hop on my newly fixed bike.
As parting words I look over at them, they had taken a few steps back, and say the first thing that came to my head...
"Next time, get the fuck out of my way, OK?"
Probably put me into a whole new level of psychopath since I had a completely serious/ready to kill face, then I smiled when I said OK.
Either way there are a few morals to this story and things to be learned:
1.) It is a public campus, yes it is a great place to spread the word or whatever, but the campus need to dictate how people do this. Said fence should have never been put there.
2.) United States Code: 18912 Impersonating a Federal Agent...thats 3 years in a "Pound me in the Ass Prison"
3.) Some people have no head on their shoulders what-so-ever, people like this should not allowed to dress up like CBP Agents and do this.
3.) I am not a nice person and when you do stupid shit like the above mentioned, I will make sure you do not have a good day.
Here are some links to the Media Coverage about said fence:
Arizona Daily Star
U of A Campus Newspaper: The Daily Wildcat
Fox 11 Arizona
1 comment:
yeeeeeeeeeeee muffins, go get em
Post a Comment