When driving around eating doughnuts Cops always go above or below the speed limit. They do this for the sole purpose of pissing you off while proving they are above the law.
Well i'm tired of this shit. So I personally take a stand to either get in their way and go WAY under the speed limit, fly past them go tailgate like I'm driving the Indy 500 (and on most days I am). This concept usually works pretty well as when you fly past them you can weave into traffic and make a turn somewhere in the near future or cut them off and slam on the brakes and act lost. You can tell when your plan is working because they will flash their lights which means "get the fuck outta my way" or they drive past and give some type of hand motion that says "What the hell are you doing." So far this plan has never backfired, once they are out of sight it's back to driving like I just stole it.
Key words were "SO FAR"
Driving around tonight I was getting on the freeway and saw a cop turning in front of my to get onto the on ramp. The car was probably about 1000ft in front of me and he was on the on ramp. Game time. Pedal to the metal and I'm on his ass inside of 2 seconds as he is laa-dee-daa'ing his way up the ramp on onto the freeway. like most shitty Tucson drivers, they fail to realize cars on the freeway go fast, much faster then their current speed. So as semi's are blasting past me and this cop, who is all of 3 feet bumper to bumper in front of me, I merge over the little white lines and jump in behind yet another semi who is flying past.
At this point all my actions are justifiable. I am merging onto a FREEWAY and need to match the speed of the flow of traffic. The car in front of me( the cop) is not accelerating a speed which I feel is a safe highway speed and therefore I feel that I'm going to either get rear ended by a passing car or have to take the next exit and try again.
Once I get in behind the semi and match his speed I pass the cop, who now is obviously annoyed with me. I hop to the next lane over and stomp it again and fly past the semi. Cruising down the highway I see the cop get around the semi and floor it until he is on my ass, much like cops do when they are running your plates. So I brake check him, trying to taunt him as if saying "Do it, pull me over!" Anticipating blue and red lights within the next 10 seconds I get over in the slow lane, cop still riding my ass. We go about another 2 miles at 45 with traffic flying past us and clearly merging to get around us.
At this point I have had it. Speed limit is 65 so I can do 80 safely and my exit is now coming up. So once again I floor it and leave the cop in the dust. right as I start pulling off into the exit lane here comes the cop, probably doing about 100 to "one up" me. I time it right look over and flick him off.
His response. Turn on his red and blue flashy lights, cut me off and fly down the exit, through the red light at the intersection then turn his lights off on the other side and get on the on ramp back onto the freeway.
Cop 1 Me 0
Friday, October 28, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Finding a Sponsorship in a Socialist Economy
For the last 3 or 4 months I have been looking for a sponsorship for myself and for the U of A team. This is quite the challenge. Having absolutely no idea of how to go about this I figured the easiest way to do this would be to pick up the phone and call people and tell them who I am and what I want. Easier said then done.
Since I just bought a super expensive Browning Shotgun, I decided to call them first. After spending half my day on hold I reached the Marketing/Media department.
This was the first lesson, instantly call a company and ask for the Marketing/Media/Sponsorship Department.
After I go through my little dissertation of who I am and what I want, The lady on the other end of the phone informs me that the Browning Image only sponsors teams that already has a "small time sponsor" such as a local gun store or gun club. At first i was quite shocked. I just paid 1/200th of a million dollars for a shotgun from your company and you won't even give me the time of day.
Next company I have in mind is Briley, they make the choke tubes that I also paid a large amount of money for. For as big as a company as they are, they have a extremely small staff. I contacted them and went through the same process only to end up with the same result. They also said I need to have a small time sponsorship in order to be considered by them.
Throughout the process of this phone call I had been looking on the Briley website and found another choke tube set that I REALLY liked. of course these were 60 bucks a tube, and there are 7 tubes.
After this somewhat depressing call I took to looking up every gun store in Tucson, which was fairly easy since I'm at each establishment once a week. being at each store once a week I am a well known customer and well known customers know the owners of the establishments.
Every place I called I got the same answer: They aren't making enough money to be able to give me or the U of A team anything. Thanks to Mr. Obama and our awesome economy I am now in debt up to my eyeballs paying for this stuff myself, spending easily 300 dollars in a weekend.
The last place I call is a local Police Supply Store way out on the complete other side of town. After many emails back and forth I finally get a meeting. Of course looking like a total badass, FBI black suit with a white shirt and tie, sporting a Kimber and my shotgun with my black portfolio. After we talked shotguns and shooting in general, he said he'll let me know what him and the company can do. I did have to pick his mouth up off the ground after I told him my personal cost for a weekend of shooting, totaling about 300-350 dollars in two days.
After a few more emails and phones calls I ended up getting another meeting. Which after the time that had elapsed between the last meeting, any news was good news. In the end the owner of the company ended up giving us everything he could, which straight money was not a lot, but the connection had been made and now I have a company that can back my habit and a person to turn to in the event I need anything. Especially the free hats for the entire team, a person can never have enough hats.
Immediately after I had the check in my possession I was back on the phone with Browning, Bretta, Fiocchi, Remington, BlackHawk! and 5.11 Tactical. it is alarming how fast I how to speak to different people in somewhat higher places. That very day I had two pages of names and contact information for companies to send my information to.
The next day I had sent out 3 faxes to 3 different brand name companies and a ton of emails to other companies. So far I have gotten one reply from 5.11 Tactical. Remington and Fiocchi have phone teleconferences with me on Friday and Monday respectively.
All in all not to bad for just under 4 months of work. Although the cost is still mounting as this weekend I am on the road to shoot at two different facilities in a different part of the state. Kind of depressing when you entire paycheck is gone within 6 hours of getting it.
Moral of this story here is That if anyone reading this has an excess of money I would like some. Also that getting someone to sponsor you is an incredibly fucking painful process. Will keep this updated as it goes.
Since I just bought a super expensive Browning Shotgun, I decided to call them first. After spending half my day on hold I reached the Marketing/Media department.
This was the first lesson, instantly call a company and ask for the Marketing/Media/Sponsorship Department.
After I go through my little dissertation of who I am and what I want, The lady on the other end of the phone informs me that the Browning Image only sponsors teams that already has a "small time sponsor" such as a local gun store or gun club. At first i was quite shocked. I just paid 1/200th of a million dollars for a shotgun from your company and you won't even give me the time of day.
Next company I have in mind is Briley, they make the choke tubes that I also paid a large amount of money for. For as big as a company as they are, they have a extremely small staff. I contacted them and went through the same process only to end up with the same result. They also said I need to have a small time sponsorship in order to be considered by them.
Throughout the process of this phone call I had been looking on the Briley website and found another choke tube set that I REALLY liked. of course these were 60 bucks a tube, and there are 7 tubes.
After this somewhat depressing call I took to looking up every gun store in Tucson, which was fairly easy since I'm at each establishment once a week. being at each store once a week I am a well known customer and well known customers know the owners of the establishments.
Every place I called I got the same answer: They aren't making enough money to be able to give me or the U of A team anything. Thanks to Mr. Obama and our awesome economy I am now in debt up to my eyeballs paying for this stuff myself, spending easily 300 dollars in a weekend.
The last place I call is a local Police Supply Store way out on the complete other side of town. After many emails back and forth I finally get a meeting. Of course looking like a total badass, FBI black suit with a white shirt and tie, sporting a Kimber and my shotgun with my black portfolio. After we talked shotguns and shooting in general, he said he'll let me know what him and the company can do. I did have to pick his mouth up off the ground after I told him my personal cost for a weekend of shooting, totaling about 300-350 dollars in two days.
After a few more emails and phones calls I ended up getting another meeting. Which after the time that had elapsed between the last meeting, any news was good news. In the end the owner of the company ended up giving us everything he could, which straight money was not a lot, but the connection had been made and now I have a company that can back my habit and a person to turn to in the event I need anything. Especially the free hats for the entire team, a person can never have enough hats.
Immediately after I had the check in my possession I was back on the phone with Browning, Bretta, Fiocchi, Remington, BlackHawk! and 5.11 Tactical. it is alarming how fast I how to speak to different people in somewhat higher places. That very day I had two pages of names and contact information for companies to send my information to.
The next day I had sent out 3 faxes to 3 different brand name companies and a ton of emails to other companies. So far I have gotten one reply from 5.11 Tactical. Remington and Fiocchi have phone teleconferences with me on Friday and Monday respectively.
All in all not to bad for just under 4 months of work. Although the cost is still mounting as this weekend I am on the road to shoot at two different facilities in a different part of the state. Kind of depressing when you entire paycheck is gone within 6 hours of getting it.
Moral of this story here is That if anyone reading this has an excess of money I would like some. Also that getting someone to sponsor you is an incredibly fucking painful process. Will keep this updated as it goes.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Second adventure Shooting on DM-AFB
So the most recent weekend shooting adventure happened at DM-AFB with my dad. had an optional practice on Saturday Morning so I asked my dad to come with me to the base trap and skeet range to have fun and not really care about anything other then discharging a weapon and having fun. Of course it was another interesting day with a group of somewhat clueless people swinging shotguns around.
Got there before they opened like usual and no one but my dad and I are out there. The two skeet fields are packed with people so we thought we had gotten luck and could goof around shooting by ourselves. That last a whole 3 min before people showed up from no where and started asking two shoot with us, including a 98 year old lady and two Colonel looking guys. Assuming everyone knows what they are doing my dad and I take up station and the others follow in suit. Only at this point do my dad and I realize that the 2 Colonel looking guys have no idea what they are doing. The fact that they were using 20g guns should have been a red flag (real men shoot a 12).
As we get up there these two guys ask what we are supposed to do. At this point I'm in super shooting mode and don't want to take to time explain the rules of the sport other then "Stand there, yell something like "Pull!" and then shoot at the bird." Both the guys nod at me like they are having a seizure. Then they proceed to just lay their shotguns down on the ground, take out some shells of the box, also on the ground and load them into the shotgun. Breaking like 5 ranges laws and one life law that you never become separated from your weapon. At this point if zombies come I would trip these two guys and run. Sorry guys, someone has to be zombie bait.
I forgot the little shell carrier pouch thing for my dad. So like the badass he is, just dumps the shells in his pockets and is ready to go, why the two Colonels couldn't figure out how to use their pockets no one will ever figure out.
After the first round we all go back and regroup, next round up we need a puller and the old lady says she'll do it. So With shotgun in hand I walk over and offer the old lady my arm and walk her out to the stand. Total ladies man that I am. Pretty sure I could have gotten a kiss if I tried, or at least some free cookies. My dad was also laughing at my suave.
We get out on the line and are talking and goofing around for about 45 seconds when the old lady yells "Are you kids gonna shoot or just socialize all day!" That got us down to business.
Overall it was a good day, dropped one bird on every round so no perfects, but still better then most.
Got there before they opened like usual and no one but my dad and I are out there. The two skeet fields are packed with people so we thought we had gotten luck and could goof around shooting by ourselves. That last a whole 3 min before people showed up from no where and started asking two shoot with us, including a 98 year old lady and two Colonel looking guys. Assuming everyone knows what they are doing my dad and I take up station and the others follow in suit. Only at this point do my dad and I realize that the 2 Colonel looking guys have no idea what they are doing. The fact that they were using 20g guns should have been a red flag (real men shoot a 12).
As we get up there these two guys ask what we are supposed to do. At this point I'm in super shooting mode and don't want to take to time explain the rules of the sport other then "Stand there, yell something like "Pull!" and then shoot at the bird." Both the guys nod at me like they are having a seizure. Then they proceed to just lay their shotguns down on the ground, take out some shells of the box, also on the ground and load them into the shotgun. Breaking like 5 ranges laws and one life law that you never become separated from your weapon. At this point if zombies come I would trip these two guys and run. Sorry guys, someone has to be zombie bait.
I forgot the little shell carrier pouch thing for my dad. So like the badass he is, just dumps the shells in his pockets and is ready to go, why the two Colonels couldn't figure out how to use their pockets no one will ever figure out.
After the first round we all go back and regroup, next round up we need a puller and the old lady says she'll do it. So With shotgun in hand I walk over and offer the old lady my arm and walk her out to the stand. Total ladies man that I am. Pretty sure I could have gotten a kiss if I tried, or at least some free cookies. My dad was also laughing at my suave.
We get out on the line and are talking and goofing around for about 45 seconds when the old lady yells "Are you kids gonna shoot or just socialize all day!" That got us down to business.
Overall it was a good day, dropped one bird on every round so no perfects, but still better then most.
Friday, May 20, 2011
First Police Experience of the Summer!
After finishing my nighttime patrol of my apartment complex I determined that I was incredibly hungry and needs to drive somewhere to get food. At a party the night before, some people went to get food and I threw a few dollars their way to bring me something back. They brought back McDonalds, and it was delicious. So tonight I headed to the local Golden Archways myself and had some food.
On the way to the place, I pass by a Frat house which I can see police lights at the far side of the house. Only saw two cars so figured it was another retarded Frat function that is a waste of time. I enjoy another 2 Double Quarter Pounders and my drink and head back to my car. On the way back I decide to go check out the Frat house and see whats going on.
On pass one I determine that there are 3 squad cars and 2 SUV's outside with 1 unmarked and a gaggle of Frat/douche bag guys standing there. Having worked with the Police force in a past job I know that this is ALL of there night shift, standing outside this Frat house, talking to these guys. I determine this deserves at least one more pass to get the full effect and get a good laugh out of other peoples misfortune.
Driving down the road for pass two I see a empty lot right across the street (how lucky can I be) and I pull in. Once in said lot I go into "Ninja Mode" and kill all outside lights so the car is basically invisible. Kill the engine and drift across the empty lot until I am literally three feet away from a squad car that is in the road. Ninja Stalk successful, no one had noticed me and now no one can see my car due to it's perfect placement behind the squad car.
Now that I'm in position I Duke's of Hazzard out the open window and stand there. Listen for all of two seconds before someone notices me and starts yelling in my direction. Obviously he is drunk so I have about another 2 minutes of him belligerently yelling at me before one of the Officers turns around and sees me standing there. I know I'm not suppose to be there and so does she. She gives the look of "This isn't gonna turn out well for you if you stay here" so I pretend not to see it and keep starring at the guy yelling at me.
As he keeps yelling, the Officer determines it is time for me to leave. As she walks over he follows halfway over and still yelling at me about whatever, I play dumb citizen and look completely in the other direction at the hospital acting like I'm minding my own business. At this point Mrs. Lady Cop turns around to tell Frat Fag to shut up and he says to her "no no no no, that dick over there by your car needs to leave, (now yelling at me) THIS IS OFFICIAL PI KAPP BUSINESS!"
Realizing I'm about to end up on the wrong end of something here I quickly throw back my reply
"Oh ya douche-fag, thats why you have 6 Cops out here on your front lawn of you Fag-house!"
This must have enraged the individual who was already yelling at me as he was now running at me Lady cop right behind him. At this point I disregard the door to my car entirely and go in feet first, luckily I land in somewhat of a good driving position. Also saving my ass by leaving the keys in the ignition, I turn it on and still in Ninja Mode (no lights on) peel out and go flying across the parking lot to the exit and then out onto the main road. No one followed that I saw.
Unfortunately I never found out what really happened tonight. Funny to think school hasn't even been out a whole week and these stupid ass frat kids still attracted the ENTIRE UAPD night shift for whatever they were doing.
On the way to the place, I pass by a Frat house which I can see police lights at the far side of the house. Only saw two cars so figured it was another retarded Frat function that is a waste of time. I enjoy another 2 Double Quarter Pounders and my drink and head back to my car. On the way back I decide to go check out the Frat house and see whats going on.
On pass one I determine that there are 3 squad cars and 2 SUV's outside with 1 unmarked and a gaggle of Frat/douche bag guys standing there. Having worked with the Police force in a past job I know that this is ALL of there night shift, standing outside this Frat house, talking to these guys. I determine this deserves at least one more pass to get the full effect and get a good laugh out of other peoples misfortune.
Driving down the road for pass two I see a empty lot right across the street (how lucky can I be) and I pull in. Once in said lot I go into "Ninja Mode" and kill all outside lights so the car is basically invisible. Kill the engine and drift across the empty lot until I am literally three feet away from a squad car that is in the road. Ninja Stalk successful, no one had noticed me and now no one can see my car due to it's perfect placement behind the squad car.
Now that I'm in position I Duke's of Hazzard out the open window and stand there. Listen for all of two seconds before someone notices me and starts yelling in my direction. Obviously he is drunk so I have about another 2 minutes of him belligerently yelling at me before one of the Officers turns around and sees me standing there. I know I'm not suppose to be there and so does she. She gives the look of "This isn't gonna turn out well for you if you stay here" so I pretend not to see it and keep starring at the guy yelling at me.
As he keeps yelling, the Officer determines it is time for me to leave. As she walks over he follows halfway over and still yelling at me about whatever, I play dumb citizen and look completely in the other direction at the hospital acting like I'm minding my own business. At this point Mrs. Lady Cop turns around to tell Frat Fag to shut up and he says to her "no no no no, that dick over there by your car needs to leave, (now yelling at me) THIS IS OFFICIAL PI KAPP BUSINESS!"
Realizing I'm about to end up on the wrong end of something here I quickly throw back my reply
"Oh ya douche-fag, thats why you have 6 Cops out here on your front lawn of you Fag-house!"
This must have enraged the individual who was already yelling at me as he was now running at me Lady cop right behind him. At this point I disregard the door to my car entirely and go in feet first, luckily I land in somewhat of a good driving position. Also saving my ass by leaving the keys in the ignition, I turn it on and still in Ninja Mode (no lights on) peel out and go flying across the parking lot to the exit and then out onto the main road. No one followed that I saw.
Unfortunately I never found out what really happened tonight. Funny to think school hasn't even been out a whole week and these stupid ass frat kids still attracted the ENTIRE UAPD night shift for whatever they were doing.
Friday, April 15, 2011
College Cleaning
Well it is just after 1 AM and my roommate is out so I took the opportunity to pull myself away from my Xbox to do some cleaning. Main areas of cleaning are the Kitchen and Bathroom.
Kitchen was very easy, put clean dishes away and then fill up dishwasher. Also took the keen opportunity to re wash the dishes my roommate did since he doesn't know how to clean anything, and then put those away too. wipe everything down and call it a day. Here is a picture to prove it:
Moving on to the bathroom. I had cleaned it last weekend so the only real order of business I had was to fix the shower head. Over the last week it had seemed to get really bad water pressure coming out of the shower head, but water pressure was still fine on the spout thing on the bottom. With my amazing Mr. Fix it skills, I derived that the issue was solely in the shower head.
Easy enough fix. Take the shower head off, find some vinegar oil or whatever it is called and soak it until it works.
Unscrew the head part from the hose. Here is the hose hanging in the shower:
Now that it's off I go back to my clean kitchen to find the vinegar. No dice.
Problem: It is 1 AM and I have a shower nozzle that is in pieces and since my roommate and I already hate each other I have to find a way to finish this before he gets home. I have no vinegar and I know for a fact that the 7-Eleven and Circle K don't sell it.
Solution: look through all cleaning supplies until I find something that will substitute for a calcium solvent.
Still standing in the kitchen with have of the shower head dripping all over the place (it surprisingly holds a lot of water) I discover there is nothing of use in the kitchen. move onto the bathroom sink. Open up the doors and with a Aura shinning around it I find this:
Yaaa Buddy!
On the back of the bottle it says for a shower head, soak in a solution of 50/50. I can only assume that means 50 percent CLR and 50 percent water. But who knows. Or cares for that matter.
I go back to the kitchen to find a huge zip lock bag. again No dice. Back to improvising, this is what I come up with:
Oh ya. That is my bathroom sink, with a guesstimated 50/50 solution of CLR and water. So as of currently I am sitting writing this blog, enjoying a well earned drink:
But I'm under 21, so I wouldn't know anything about those types of beverages. I'm just drinking some special water
All in all, 45 min later my roommate still isn't home (YAY!!!) and by the time tomorrow morning rolls around I'm going to have a nice hot shower with some serious water pressure!
College students are forced to improvise and come up with wild out of the box solutions on the spot. I feel that we don't get enough credit for the ingenious solutions we have for everyday problems!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Food proportions VS Cost
So the new Campus Rec center got this make over and additional gym and such. Much nicer and more spacious. Still overpopulated by dumbfuck frat kids but whatever, thats a different soap box.
Walk up to the counter and some older guy is working, clearly not in college. I assume he must be the owner/manager. He was doing something on his phone when I walked up, but he never put it down. As most of the people who know me, this put me into kill mode. Sorry I have over 6 years of experience in Retail and Sales, please don't make me tell you how to do your job. Without missing a beat he inputs my order and swipes my card. I'm like "YA! THANKS." It doesn't phase him at all.
Most recently I noticed they have a new restaurant type of thing in there. It is called "Fuel" and they serve things like smoothies and power bars and drinks and have a few options for food. I have only been there twice, both times after fairly strenuous activity so when I happened to stroll on by the Fro Yo thing got my attention. First time I went in, maybe a month ago I ordered a Chocolate & Vanilla Swirl with toppings. It was very good.
Tonight I go back, order the same thing.
Walk up to the counter and some older guy is working, clearly not in college. I assume he must be the owner/manager. He was doing something on his phone when I walked up, but he never put it down. As most of the people who know me, this put me into kill mode. Sorry I have over 6 years of experience in Retail and Sales, please don't make me tell you how to do your job. Without missing a beat he inputs my order and swipes my card. I'm like "YA! THANKS." It doesn't phase him at all.
This is what I ordered. 4 dollars and 19 cents. OUTRAGEOUS!
Whatever it is very delicious.
Please note that this cup is maybe two inches tall and three inches wide.
Paper thin bananas...Bummer. About halfway through this delicious Fro Yo. I was about to take a bite when the person I was with pointed out that one of the bananas was green. I was like, really? Old ass bananas?
So I walk back up to the counter and of course the only two people at the counter are girls. Obviously dumb blonde sorority bitches. I tell one "Ya your bananas are kinds moldy" pointing to the huge blotch of mold on the banana on top. She kind of almost playfully takes it out of my hand and tosses it in the trash behind the counter. WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING she walks over and makes another one then hands it to me.
Because if the first banana had mold on it, I'm sure the other 100 banana slices wont' have mold on them. It's not like they all sit right next to each other in the counter or anything. Dumb.
 |
| This is the second one I got |
 |
| Size in comparison to some keys |
While finishing up this thing, I look over at the counter and they have this beer tap looking thing and a little sign in front of it. While I was to far away to read what it said, the header of the sign was big enough for me to make out "49 cents." Anything on campus that is that cheap I MUST HAVE.
Walking back up to the counter, there are still only two girls working. Guess I have to make due. Upon further investigation it is a tiny ass cup of water that has some type of bull steroids or some crazy shit stuff in it. They have a few flavors with catchy names like "Ignition" and "Power" and whatever else. So I order those two flavors.
They look like normal water. One has a very slight rust colored tint and the other has a blueish hue.
Well after two big gulps I have a video that depicts me drinking said water:
Yes It did taste much like normal water and I did not feel any form of empowerment from vitamins.
All in all this little store in the Rec is pretty much a over priced joke. I don't recommend it at all.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Politics on Campus
Allow me to start by saying that this is attempted to be written in the most professional/politically withdrawn form that it could be, BUT that the statements displayed are my own and if you have a problem with them then call your mom and bitch to her that the mean man on the internet said bad things about your beliefs.
Most recently there have been some quite annoying displays of politics on campus (University of Arizona). Of the most recent things there is one that stands out the most to me:
Chain link "Mini" US-Mexico Border Fence
Get back on campus from spring break to find some 6 foot tall chain link fence that is topped with barbed wire. The fence stretches all the way down the mall and there are openings in two or three places where the paved bike path and sidewalks cross. At first this doesn't affect me since I think they are going to lay down new grass or something and I try not to walk on the grass anyway since THATS WHY THERE ARE SIDEWALKS (lets not get me started on that issue).
Monday at lunch time I am on campus doing my thing and notice that there are now little laminated pictures hanging on said fence and there is no new grass. Instantly sparked by curiosity I stroll over to the fence and take a gander at the pictures. My heart sinks when I find out we are now getting new lush green grass, but the fence is there to show how hard it is for Mexicans to get into the US. Now not only am I pissed but also depressed I have to stare at dead grass for another 6 weeks of school. FML.
All along the fence there are pictures and whatnot of "sad" images of people holding hands through the fence and other bullshit like that (yes i'm a cold cold person). Honestly at this point it still has no affect on me, other then having to listen to everyone else bitch and moan about not being able to walk on the grass.
THE problem here is not that I care about the fence and other peoples problems. Lets be honest, There is a border fence there for a reason...to keep Mexicans out. But when I have to see it everyday I start to build the anger inside and that never ends well.
The school is a public place. The school should not have these type of "Protests" that are clearly taking a stance on the issue. The school should be completely removed from any type of opinion with this sort of thing.
Well apparently I wasn't the only one offended. The longer the fence was up, the more vandalism was done. It got to the point where the Fence Company started taking down sections early since people would go out at night and cut holes in the fence so that other students could get through during the day. The funniest thing I saw in the whole occurance was a fake "crucified" body hanging on it. Now I have no idea what kind of statement that made but it was pretty funny to see the fence people get all pissy with it since apparently whoever put it up there made dam sure it was going to be hard to take down.
Best thing about the whole issue (yes this is were I get in a fight) is one day there were students dress up as Fake Customs and Border Patrol Agents. They were out harassing people, If you were white skinned they would let you through and if you were brown skinned they would yell at you to walk around. Thanks to my Polish Complex (ghost white) I was allowed through every time. But that was to easy. I'm Polish, at some point my ancestors had to fight someone to get into or great country.
To make this point I went through the gaps next to these "Border Patrol Agents" a few times:
First time walking through to head over towards the bike rack:
CBP (Customs and Border Patrol) "Sir you are white you may pass"
This being my first time I didn't get it so I put my head down and kept walking. Then I realized what they were doing and the ideas started lining up in my head.
Second Pass:
CBP: "Sir you are white you may pass"
He didn't really side step to let me through so I jumped on the opportunity...
Me: "Impersonating a Federal agent is a felony, so get the fuck out of my way or I will have you arrested!"
He moved very quickly...oddly enough I never saw his face out in the crowd again
Third Pass, with bicycle:
CBP guy kinda had the look on his face like should I try and say my stupid line to him or just get out of his way.
Guess what he choose? Yes he Choose stand there. Yes he was gonna learn very quickly that this was the wrong choice.
Seeing that he wasn't gonna back down I closed the gap and sped up until the last second when the game of chicken, when I jumped off my bike and let it go crashing front wheel to his "Danger Area." In hindsight this was a stupid plan since I no have no easily accessible escape route, but putting the mission first I was gonna ride that airplane into the ground.
CBP #2 came flying over, arms failing trying to help CBP #1 who was now partially under my bike. I stood there trying to look like I didn't actually just do that on purpose, but CBP #1 knew better. He lost all professionalism as he and robin (CBP #2) took the third huge steps to yell at me face to face. This would be twice now that CBP #1 has made the wrong choice today. I let him yell and act all tough, to be honest I really couldn't remember what profanity he even yelled in my face I just remember him spitting a lot and making me more angry. Much like the true champion I am, my lack of all concern pissed him off even more and just brought him one step closer to me as he screamed at me. After standing there looking retarded for about a minute he stopped yelling, with this confused look on his face. He must have been thinking I was deaf or something since I wasn't even flinching when he yelled.
Me: "You must be a horrible CBP Agent if you didn't even see me coming at you in broad daylight, no wonder no Americans can find jobs because you suck serious ass at your job."
While saying this I side stepped Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb to pick up my bike and pretend to inspect it. They followed and kept yelling at me. I still wasn't listening. Throughout the inspection of my bike I had previously loosed a screw on the water bottle holder thing for this exact reason.
I turn look at CBP #1 and say: "This thing is loose (pointing to water bottle thing) now because you made me crash my bike, I'm going to charge you for that"
CBP #1 "I didn't break that you hit me."
How did I know he was going to say that? Because he was standing there in a fake CBP outfit and didn't hop up and say OMG I'm sorry are you OK? after I crashed it into him.
Instantly I reach for my back pocket and grab my knife. The special knife that it is, it will open up all 6.25 inches (not including serration) of blade when I yank it out of my pocket.
CBP #1 now realizes I am a lunatic and just pulled a weapon out of seemingly nowhere.
Me: "Oh really you didn't break it? Well if I can't fix it now, I will walk YOU over to Campus Police, you know the people with REAL guns, and explain to them how you broke my bike and make sure you pay to have it fixed."
Luckily it was a Philips screw that my knew could easily tighten, so I did.
At this point CBP #1 AND #2 are whiter then I am (very white). So I flip the knife closed, hook it back into my pocket and hop on my newly fixed bike.
As parting words I look over at them, they had taken a few steps back, and say the first thing that came to my head...
"Next time, get the fuck out of my way, OK?"
Probably put me into a whole new level of psychopath since I had a completely serious/ready to kill face, then I smiled when I said OK.
Either way there are a few morals to this story and things to be learned:
1.) It is a public campus, yes it is a great place to spread the word or whatever, but the campus need to dictate how people do this. Said fence should have never been put there.
2.) United States Code: 18912 Impersonating a Federal Agent...thats 3 years in a "Pound me in the Ass Prison"
3.) Some people have no head on their shoulders what-so-ever, people like this should not allowed to dress up like CBP Agents and do this.
3.) I am not a nice person and when you do stupid shit like the above mentioned, I will make sure you do not have a good day.
Here are some links to the Media Coverage about said fence:
Arizona Daily Star
U of A Campus Newspaper: The Daily Wildcat
Fox 11 Arizona
Most recently there have been some quite annoying displays of politics on campus (University of Arizona). Of the most recent things there is one that stands out the most to me:
Chain link "Mini" US-Mexico Border Fence
Get back on campus from spring break to find some 6 foot tall chain link fence that is topped with barbed wire. The fence stretches all the way down the mall and there are openings in two or three places where the paved bike path and sidewalks cross. At first this doesn't affect me since I think they are going to lay down new grass or something and I try not to walk on the grass anyway since THATS WHY THERE ARE SIDEWALKS (lets not get me started on that issue).
Monday at lunch time I am on campus doing my thing and notice that there are now little laminated pictures hanging on said fence and there is no new grass. Instantly sparked by curiosity I stroll over to the fence and take a gander at the pictures. My heart sinks when I find out we are now getting new lush green grass, but the fence is there to show how hard it is for Mexicans to get into the US. Now not only am I pissed but also depressed I have to stare at dead grass for another 6 weeks of school. FML.
All along the fence there are pictures and whatnot of "sad" images of people holding hands through the fence and other bullshit like that (yes i'm a cold cold person). Honestly at this point it still has no affect on me, other then having to listen to everyone else bitch and moan about not being able to walk on the grass.
 |
| Students from the group that made the fence...Note: he looks like a fagget. |
THE problem here is not that I care about the fence and other peoples problems. Lets be honest, There is a border fence there for a reason...to keep Mexicans out. But when I have to see it everyday I start to build the anger inside and that never ends well.
The school is a public place. The school should not have these type of "Protests" that are clearly taking a stance on the issue. The school should be completely removed from any type of opinion with this sort of thing.
Well apparently I wasn't the only one offended. The longer the fence was up, the more vandalism was done. It got to the point where the Fence Company started taking down sections early since people would go out at night and cut holes in the fence so that other students could get through during the day. The funniest thing I saw in the whole occurance was a fake "crucified" body hanging on it. Now I have no idea what kind of statement that made but it was pretty funny to see the fence people get all pissy with it since apparently whoever put it up there made dam sure it was going to be hard to take down.
Best thing about the whole issue (yes this is were I get in a fight) is one day there were students dress up as Fake Customs and Border Patrol Agents. They were out harassing people, If you were white skinned they would let you through and if you were brown skinned they would yell at you to walk around. Thanks to my Polish Complex (ghost white) I was allowed through every time. But that was to easy. I'm Polish, at some point my ancestors had to fight someone to get into or great country.
To make this point I went through the gaps next to these "Border Patrol Agents" a few times:
First time walking through to head over towards the bike rack:
CBP (Customs and Border Patrol) "Sir you are white you may pass"
This being my first time I didn't get it so I put my head down and kept walking. Then I realized what they were doing and the ideas started lining up in my head.
Second Pass:
CBP: "Sir you are white you may pass"
He didn't really side step to let me through so I jumped on the opportunity...
Me: "Impersonating a Federal agent is a felony, so get the fuck out of my way or I will have you arrested!"
He moved very quickly...oddly enough I never saw his face out in the crowd again
Third Pass, with bicycle:
CBP guy kinda had the look on his face like should I try and say my stupid line to him or just get out of his way.
Guess what he choose? Yes he Choose stand there. Yes he was gonna learn very quickly that this was the wrong choice.
Seeing that he wasn't gonna back down I closed the gap and sped up until the last second when the game of chicken, when I jumped off my bike and let it go crashing front wheel to his "Danger Area." In hindsight this was a stupid plan since I no have no easily accessible escape route, but putting the mission first I was gonna ride that airplane into the ground.
CBP #2 came flying over, arms failing trying to help CBP #1 who was now partially under my bike. I stood there trying to look like I didn't actually just do that on purpose, but CBP #1 knew better. He lost all professionalism as he and robin (CBP #2) took the third huge steps to yell at me face to face. This would be twice now that CBP #1 has made the wrong choice today. I let him yell and act all tough, to be honest I really couldn't remember what profanity he even yelled in my face I just remember him spitting a lot and making me more angry. Much like the true champion I am, my lack of all concern pissed him off even more and just brought him one step closer to me as he screamed at me. After standing there looking retarded for about a minute he stopped yelling, with this confused look on his face. He must have been thinking I was deaf or something since I wasn't even flinching when he yelled.
Me: "You must be a horrible CBP Agent if you didn't even see me coming at you in broad daylight, no wonder no Americans can find jobs because you suck serious ass at your job."
While saying this I side stepped Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb to pick up my bike and pretend to inspect it. They followed and kept yelling at me. I still wasn't listening. Throughout the inspection of my bike I had previously loosed a screw on the water bottle holder thing for this exact reason.
I turn look at CBP #1 and say: "This thing is loose (pointing to water bottle thing) now because you made me crash my bike, I'm going to charge you for that"
CBP #1 "I didn't break that you hit me."
How did I know he was going to say that? Because he was standing there in a fake CBP outfit and didn't hop up and say OMG I'm sorry are you OK? after I crashed it into him.
Instantly I reach for my back pocket and grab my knife. The special knife that it is, it will open up all 6.25 inches (not including serration) of blade when I yank it out of my pocket.
CBP #1 now realizes I am a lunatic and just pulled a weapon out of seemingly nowhere.
Me: "Oh really you didn't break it? Well if I can't fix it now, I will walk YOU over to Campus Police, you know the people with REAL guns, and explain to them how you broke my bike and make sure you pay to have it fixed."
Luckily it was a Philips screw that my knew could easily tighten, so I did.
At this point CBP #1 AND #2 are whiter then I am (very white). So I flip the knife closed, hook it back into my pocket and hop on my newly fixed bike.
As parting words I look over at them, they had taken a few steps back, and say the first thing that came to my head...
"Next time, get the fuck out of my way, OK?"
Probably put me into a whole new level of psychopath since I had a completely serious/ready to kill face, then I smiled when I said OK.
Either way there are a few morals to this story and things to be learned:
1.) It is a public campus, yes it is a great place to spread the word or whatever, but the campus need to dictate how people do this. Said fence should have never been put there.
2.) United States Code: 18912 Impersonating a Federal Agent...thats 3 years in a "Pound me in the Ass Prison"
3.) Some people have no head on their shoulders what-so-ever, people like this should not allowed to dress up like CBP Agents and do this.
3.) I am not a nice person and when you do stupid shit like the above mentioned, I will make sure you do not have a good day.
Here are some links to the Media Coverage about said fence:
Arizona Daily Star
U of A Campus Newspaper: The Daily Wildcat
Fox 11 Arizona
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